Things are shaping up to be pretty odd.

Last night I had beautiful dreams of a house on the sea.  All of my friends from school were there, and somehow I rarely felt jealous; I accepted all that was and all that would be.  And it's not surprising that I drowned in the end, even though I didn't see it coming, but before that I got to run in the shallow water--there was no way to get "home" without walking through it--and watch the sky shine brilliant and entirely impossible shades of red and orange.  The water reflected all of it and I ran through merrily, at least until I got to the bend where I knew the bottom would drop off quickly;I had to stay tight to the rock edge.  Suddenly, I was waist-deep in water; I thought to myself, "I've never been here when the tide was so high.  I'm going to drown."  And I did.

I woke up this morning with my shirt halfway off, my thoughts calm, and my heart in a tizzy.

I am made of anticipation.

Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?  Nooo.  I never get to see anyone naked!!  =(

Will tomorrow be better than today?
Let's hope so.  =)  Today I lost my keys.  Tomorrow I'm looking forward to an alternate side parking ticket, a few early calls to AAA, Dahl Automotive, and maybe a locksmith.  But there will be a JavaMonster waiting for me!  And a wonderful Mary Kay party.  =)


Do you want to see somebody right now?
Yeah.  I'm a cuddler.

If a guy put his jacket on a puddle for you, would you actually walk on it?
Nooo.  I would pick it up and make him wash it.  I love chivalry, but that would just make me sad.

Do you honestly believe that good things come to those who wait?
Yes.  I like the idea of fortune as a wheel.  We'll all be up and down soon enough.

What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails?
I don't bite my nails, but I pick at them.  Don't bite the lip too often, either.  So probably my tongue, which is never fun. =(

Have you ever been cheated on?
No, thankfully.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I don't think "love" is the right word to use.  Infatuation, yes.  You can adore someone from the minute you set eyes on them.  But love is too deep for that.

What catches your eye more? Eyes or smile?
Eyes, probably.


Do you have trust issues?
Yeah.  It's kind of my weak point.  Basically I suck at trusting people.

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
Yes, I think so.


Are you starting to realize anything?
I'm afraid to go back to school.  Nervous.

What is your current mood?
Impatient for The Practice to load.  Slightly annoyed.  Upset with myself for stupidly losing my keys.  Dreading the bustle of tomorrow, not to mention the money.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
Eh.  I doubt it.  If something meaningful occurred, yes.


Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I can only hope.

Honestly, do you hate the last girl you were talking to in person?
I think that was Alece, and I didn't even see her--but I knew she was there!  =D  No, I don't hate her.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Jeni
.  =)

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Not that I know of.  =)  Creepers could have been in the livingroom, however.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Yikes.  Already listed in the bitchfit above.  But MK party!  Yay!!!  =)  Afterwards, who knows.

What time did you go to sleep last night?
2:30 I think.  I didn't feel much like sleeping.

What are you listening to?
Nothing.  Waiting for The Practice.  =)  Alan Shore OMG.

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Haha.  Maybe.  Now, if you asked if I knew any DEALERS, well, that's a more select crew.

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy?
Yeah, I think so.  =)

What color shirt are you wearing?
My green German Heritage Day shirt with the little West Berliner and the arrow to Germany.  =)  Good times.

Are you seeing the person you like on the weekend?
I hope so.  =)

Who was the last person to call you baby?
Jake.  Baby or babydoll.  I'm ridiculously fond of both.

What did you do last night?
Went over to Jake's.  Watched an episode of Grey's.  Got poked.  Got cuddled.  Slept.  Went home and put the sheets back on my bed.  =)

Who was the last person you hugged?
Jared, because he drove my sorry ass around an extra hour and a half and amusingly retraced steps with me.  He also risked death by dropping me off in a drive-by past my house!  Sorry for the excruciating pain of that, Jared, but you were asking for it.

Was your last kiss sober or drunk?
Sober.  We're a pretty sober couple.

What's something that upset you today?
Just the fact that I'm an idiot.  Hahaha.

Your current relationship status?
Very attached.

Do you get along with girls?
I think so.  It's unfortunate when I have long-standing issues with them, though.  It seems like I'm always acting like a twelve year old when I explain to Jake that so-and-so did such-and-such so now I'm suspicious of them whenever the opportunity presents itself.  Yes, I'm a crazy.

Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn't?
Yeah.  I've tried relatively hard in the past few months to keep most information about me confined to a very small number of people.  I don't think anyone really knows everything, and I plan to keep it that way until I seek medical help.

Just kidding about that last part.  ;)

Do you think you're old?
Sometimes I feel old.  That's why I like to avoid jading myself--experience is knowledge, yes, but I don't need it all right away.


How many texts are in your inbox right now?
30.  New phone thing.

Is someone on your mind?
Yes, Alan Shore!  =)  And someone else, I suppose.

I'm feeling a little empty right now.  I am lacking the resolve I want.  I'm lacking resolutions, too.  I've formed ideas in my head, but I haven't written them down quite yet.  I know that I want to do new things, to go fearlessly into trying new things; I always make a start, but then I never finish.  The bane of my existence--I'm not super-motivated.  I fall easily into patterns.  I'm okay sitting and playing Tetris for hours on end, which I should feel bad about, despite the fact that it's good time for reflection and may keep my mental skills sharp.  That's what I tell myself, anyway.

Of course, as it always is with me, abundant time for reflection is never a good thing.  When you imagine things, the same chemical reactions occur in the brain as if it had actually happened, said Jared.  =)  Hence the reason I lost it completely a couple times in high school.  My imagination scoops me up and carries me away, kicking and screaming.  The damage is done; I thought it was all real.

Oh well.  There's still that mental skills thing.  Whatever.  I like Tetris.